Tuesday, September 5, 2017

Dolce far Niente - The Sweetness of Doing Nothing

I got hooked up on this term while watching 'Eat Pray Love' for the third time i guess. What a lovely thought! to do nothing and enjoy the moment. Maybe I was so caught up because I never was comfortable doing that. Even when I am sleeping my mind keeps working. Even my dreams are practical.

Tried many things over time but nothing works. I have heard people saying that one should day dream to relax. I tried doing that with hilarious results. So here I am dreaming of a day when I will be sitting at a beach, sipping a gorgeous drink and reading an interesting book. And suddenly my mind goes like - "OK!! so what are you wearing?? Where did u get that from? How much did that cost? REALLY!! and what made you think that you could spend so much money on one silly dress. ALRIGHT!! changing the topic, where are you staying and for how many days? Did you apply for leave? Oh you did, that's great! but then you won't be getting anymore leaves for the festival season, you realize that right?" And thus goes my experiment with day-dreaming relaxation.

Today, I tried the new trick of imagining myself sitting on a mountaintop and observing the ocean at sunset. Wow, it was surreal! And there my mind goes again! "Mountaintop!! Where? How? Don't you think you should get up and get a handle on 10 million things before you open your freaking laptop and login to get started with work!!" Like seriously, for a moment I was there instead of Ranbir Kapoor, sitting on a tall rock and staring at the sea, just like that one brief shot of Tamasha. And the next moment I am thinking about going to the store to buy Milk and Arhar Daal.

I had even joined the 'Art of Living' happiness course at a very low point in my life. And for time being it worked. I could relax in the midst of chaos. But that also worked till the time I had cut-off myself from real life. And Once I returned, there was no going back. I could never find the time or motivation to sit still and simply breath without my mind wandering to places and pushing me to get up and get going.

So here I am, wondering whether ever in my whole life, I will be able to let go of things and just breath in the fresh air and let go. It just sounds and feels so peaceful and serene. 'SERENITY', one of my favourite words. Oh, the irony. I hope that I find the answer soon.