Dolce far Niente - The Sweetness of Doing Nothing

I got hooked up on this term while watching 'Eat Pray Love' for the third time i guess. What a lovely thought! to do nothing and enjoy the moment. Maybe I was so caught up because I never was comfortable doing that. Even when I am sleeping my mind keeps working. Even my dreams are practical.

Tried many things over time but nothing works. I have heard people saying that one should day dream to relax. I tried doing that with hilarious results. So here I am dreaming of a day when I will be sitting at a beach, sipping a gorgeous drink and reading an interesting book. And suddenly my mind goes like - "OK!! so what are you wearing?? Where did u get that from? How much did that cost? REALLY!! and what made you think that you could spend so much money on one silly dress. ALRIGHT!! changing the topic, where are you staying and for how many days? Did you apply for leave? Oh you did, that's great! but then you won't be getting anymore leaves for the festival season, you realize that right?" And thus goes my experiment with day-dreaming relaxation.

Today, I tried the new trick of imagining myself sitting on a mountaintop and observing the ocean at sunset. Wow, it was surreal! And there my mind goes again! "Mountaintop!! Where? How? Don't you think you should get up and get a handle on 10 million things before you open your freaking laptop and login to get started with work!!" Like seriously, for a moment I was there instead of Ranbir Kapoor, sitting on a tall rock and staring at the sea, just like that one brief shot of Tamasha. And the next moment I am thinking about going to the store to buy Milk and Arhar Daal.

I had even joined the 'Art of Living' happiness course at a very low point in my life. And for time being it worked. I could relax in the midst of chaos. But that also worked till the time I had cut-off myself from real life. And Once I returned, there was no going back. I could never find the time or motivation to sit still and simply breath without my mind wandering to places and pushing me to get up and get going.

So here I am, wondering whether ever in my whole life, I will be able to let go of things and just breath in the fresh air and let go. It just sounds and feels so peaceful and serene. 'SERENITY', one of my favourite words. Oh, the irony. I hope that I find the answer soon.

-Charu

Me and Tamasha..!

What can one do with the fire that burns them from within. The fire that urges them to fight, fight for something good and worthwhile. And what if you cannot find anything worthwhile to fight for? What if you are just clueless, directionless, absorbed in everyday's mundane tasks, looking for a reason to go on. You feel like all the potential you have is getting wasted day by day because you don't know what you want.

Once you had dreams, dreams so great that every second of every day felt bursting with energy. And then life knocked you down hard. You gave up for some time. You did just let go. And then somehow you got up. You survived. But in the process lost that gleam from your eyes. And you lost the belief in your dreams. You learnt to compromise, now you give up easily. And the most frightening part is that you have accepted this method of existence as your reality. Along the way you took steps which cannot be reversed.

Sounds like everyone's story right? Well, to me, it sounds a little like one story which is close to my heart, but with a happier ending. The story of one of my favorite movies - TAMASHA!

Ved, the terrified, oppressed little boy who has learnt so well to keep his thoughts and emotions hidden goes to Corsica, meets Tara, and the world explodes. With millions of colors and lights, just for them. They get to live in a bubble just for sometime, where everything was bright and beautiful. Where they were as happy as one could ever be. Content in each others company, in each others silences. Those parts of the movie always leave me craving for such days, where I will not have a single thing to care about, just lazing out in a field somewhere in the middle of nowhere.

And then reality strikes and they get back to their ACTUAL lives. And then you get to see the contrast. Tara maintains an illusion of that bubble in her life, still snatching some moments of that blessed content, not with Ved but with his memories. Ved goes back to his life and surrenders to that alternate reality which is indeed the reality. While some may think of Ved as practical and Tara as a dreamer, they should not forget that only dreamers get to realize their dreams.

And so, one day, Tara walks across her dream again and finds Ved. But guess what, he is not the one she had been with for so long, he is just the shadow of the man she loves. One who has stopped believing in himself because no one had ever believed in him. When Tara tries to make him realize who he was, who he can be, his first instinct is to fight back and fight hard. You see the struggle of a man who is afraid to hope, afraid to think. And thus he pushes Tara away.

And then, you see the slow but mesmerizing transformation of Ved to Don again. Its a painful yet beautiful journey of self-realization. At last emerges a person who is not afraid of being himself. Who is able to accept himself and thus is able to turn himself into his own best possible version. Last but not the least he wins that one thing from the world which he now truly deserves, his companion and soulmate, Tara.

Only after accepting yourself for what you are and what you are capable of being, you can accept someone else in your life.Think, how can another soul know and understand you when you yourself are not capable of that. And if by some miracle, someone like that appears on the horizon, you will not only try to negate their thinking but also your own life. And there is nothing more maddening and scarier then that. I think I have committed this same mistake partially. I realized that while writing this down. And I intend to handle this. Lets see how that goes

-Charu  

The Shiva Trilogy By Amish

When I was a child a lot of mythological shows were aired on television like Shri Krishna, Mahabharat, Ramayan etc. Since then I have been fascinated by Krishna. I believed in his philosophies, admire him as a teacher & politician and worship him not just as a God but as my saviour in my hour of need. While reading 'Mujhe Chand Chahiye', I felt thrilled when the protagonist 'Varsha' showed a similar devotion to my Lord.

One of the shows which graced the Indian television during the same time period was 'Om Namah Shivay'. I believe it used to be aired on Mondays and also remember my family watching it. Although, I never took much interest in this one and so was not a regular with the series. Years later when the phenomenon named 'Amish' hit the Indian literary scene, I still did not pay much attention to his books (Infact, I was urged by many friends to read them) as his first series was the Shiva triology. Only after reading the first two books of Ramayan Series I got a little curious. I was drawn to the writing style of the author as for me he had made the relatively simple characters of 'Ram' and 'Sita' (About whom my knowledge was limited to reading Ramayan, a few stories that I had heard and some refernces in movies and books) into such strong, mesmerizing and poignant people. Since the third book of 'Ramayan Series' was nowhere in vicinity of launch, I decided to read the 'Shiva Triology'. And boy!, what an experience it was to read three books with around 370 pages each in a span on just 10 days with a full-time job and a lot of other responsibilities. 

'Shiva', a barbarian, a migrant, a nobody reaches Meluha by tun of fate, falls in love with the princess of the kingdom, stumbles upon the decree to become 'Neelkanth' and is trusted with the responsibility to rid the great nation of India from a widespread 'Evil'. I am not going to summarize the story here for that is not what touched me the most. I am amazed at the power of writing trough which the author has given such complex and yet believable explanations of the events which till now were only magical religious phenomenons to me like the blue throat and the third eye of the Lord.  His habit of smoking marijuana, his apparel, his temper and his love, all were there for a reason.

The thing that is haunting me hours after finishing the last book is the character of Sati. The bond between Shiva and his wife Sati laid the foundation of whole epic. A bond of true love which lead them to realize their ultimate potential as warriors and Gods. Theirs was a union that balanced them. And was a kind of relationship that strengthened my belief in the institution of marriage where two people support each other to be the best versions of themselves.

Its fascinating that the writer tries to emphasize the point that 'Shiva' was just a normal human being who explores his strengths and becomes 'Mahadev'. This notion fills every heart with hope that someday, with some luck and a hell lot of hard work, if we remain true to ourselves, we all can also become what we are supposed to be, what we were born to become. Because behind this hope is the fear that this life will just end someday in the middle of this chaos without doing anything worthwhile. And that is something nobody should allow to happen to them. Every being is born with the ability to do good and make others life easier. The only question that remains is are we willing to be good, be consumed by that fire of self-exploration and then put in that truck loads of effort in order to fulfill our destiny. And what if the end of this road is not the end yet but another turn. Will we be willing to go on.Will we be able to gather the strength and hold on to the hope of a brighter future to continue. That is the question we all need to answer for ourselves.

-Charu

Love and its forms............

Its a complete delight to find your long forgotten blog while browsing the net after almost 7 years. What is more delightful is to try for a day and remember the credentials to login to it and write a new post. But the most delightful part was scrolling through my past posts and trying to remember me as I was some 10 years ago. A girl of 20, trying to get over a heart break. Now I am 30 and a lot has changed. My way of life, my profession, my marital status and the city of residence. But one thing that has still not changed is my passion for books, music and movies. I plan to continue sharing my thoughts on all of these subjects through this platform.

Having read hundred of books over time, I have drawn a conclusion which is surprising even for me. The love that a person feels for someone not feeling the same way or one who is not admitting their feelings is indeed love.  But the love that comes in the form of mutual respect and caring while struggling through the ups and downs of life together, while watching a person fight and stumble, get up and fight again, rest and reflect is purer, fiercer and stronger. Nothing binds you to a person as strongly as sharing this struggle. We cannot love a person truly until we have watched him/her going though the highest of the highs and lowest of the lows. If and when we witness and accept that, we encounter love in its magnificence.

And the person who had helped me the most to draw this conclusion is the author 'Amish Tripathi'. I have read the two books of his Ramayan series released till date. I have started reading the first book of the Shiva Triology and the thought just dawned on me. What would have happened if Ram and Sita, Shiva and Sati had easier lives to begin with. What if they were brought up in a comfortable cocooned environments without the need to face the harsh realities of life. Would they have been able to understand one another? Would they have been still drawn to one another? I believe NO. Nobody becomes extra-ordinary by leading ordinary life. And you earn the right to be with a being who is extra-ordinary, you have to be so yourself. Then only the union can become balanced and harmonious.

An unbalanced relation may also appear beautiful at first,  but in the long run brings out the frustrations of lack in understanding and admiration. The point of views of people involved become two parallel lines running straight in the same direction, lying in the same plane, but never meeting. This is the reason why after separations and divorces, the most common reason as explained by the coupes is that they and their partners wanted different things in life, hence the analogy of parallel lines.

Running along with the same analogy we can conclude that an ideal relation would be like a set of intersecting lines. two individuals coming from different backgrounds, meeting at a common point and still maintaining an independent identity of their own. But they will always have that point of intersection as a reference, as a reminder of their shared beliefs and struggles and as a beacon of hope and trust in their toughest times. A reminder that they have something and common and thus giving courage to fight yet another battle in life with trust that they have someone who will fight along their side.

-Charu