Me and Tamasha..!

What can one do with the fire that burns them from within. The fire that urges them to fight, fight for something good and worthwhile. And what if you cannot find anything worthwhile to fight for? What if you are just clueless, directionless, absorbed in everyday's mundane tasks, looking for a reason to go on. You feel like all the potential you have is getting wasted day by day because you don't know what you want.

Once you had dreams, dreams so great that every second of every day felt bursting with energy. And then life knocked you down hard. You gave up for some time. You did just let go. And then somehow you got up. You survived. But in the process lost that gleam from your eyes. And you lost the belief in your dreams. You learnt to compromise, now you give up easily. And the most frightening part is that you have accepted this method of existence as your reality. Along the way you took steps which cannot be reversed.

Sounds like everyone's story right? Well, to me, it sounds a little like one story which is close to my heart, but with a happier ending. The story of one of my favorite movies - TAMASHA!

Ved, the terrified, oppressed little boy who has learnt so well to keep his thoughts and emotions hidden goes to Corsica, meets Tara, and the world explodes. With millions of colors and lights, just for them. They get to live in a bubble just for sometime, where everything was bright and beautiful. Where they were as happy as one could ever be. Content in each others company, in each others silences. Those parts of the movie always leave me craving for such days, where I will not have a single thing to care about, just lazing out in a field somewhere in the middle of nowhere.

And then reality strikes and they get back to their ACTUAL lives. And then you get to see the contrast. Tara maintains an illusion of that bubble in her life, still snatching some moments of that blessed content, not with Ved but with his memories. Ved goes back to his life and surrenders to that alternate reality which is indeed the reality. While some may think of Ved as practical and Tara as a dreamer, they should not forget that only dreamers get to realize their dreams.

And so, one day, Tara walks across her dream again and finds Ved. But guess what, he is not the one she had been with for so long, he is just the shadow of the man she loves. One who has stopped believing in himself because no one had ever believed in him. When Tara tries to make him realize who he was, who he can be, his first instinct is to fight back and fight hard. You see the struggle of a man who is afraid to hope, afraid to think. And thus he pushes Tara away.

And then, you see the slow but mesmerizing transformation of Ved to Don again. Its a painful yet beautiful journey of self-realization. At last emerges a person who is not afraid of being himself. Who is able to accept himself and thus is able to turn himself into his own best possible version. Last but not the least he wins that one thing from the world which he now truly deserves, his companion and soulmate, Tara.

Only after accepting yourself for what you are and what you are capable of being, you can accept someone else in your life.Think, how can another soul know and understand you when you yourself are not capable of that. And if by some miracle, someone like that appears on the horizon, you will not only try to negate their thinking but also your own life. And there is nothing more maddening and scarier then that. I think I have committed this same mistake partially. I realized that while writing this down. And I intend to handle this. Lets see how that goes

-Charu  

The Shiva Trilogy By Amish

When I was a child a lot of mythological shows were aired on television like Shri Krishna, Mahabharat, Ramayan etc. Since then I have been fascinated by Krishna. I believed in his philosophies, admire him as a teacher & politician and worship him not just as a God but as my saviour in my hour of need. While reading 'Mujhe Chand Chahiye', I felt thrilled when the protagonist 'Varsha' showed a similar devotion to my Lord.

One of the shows which graced the Indian television during the same time period was 'Om Namah Shivay'. I believe it used to be aired on Mondays and also remember my family watching it. Although, I never took much interest in this one and so was not a regular with the series. Years later when the phenomenon named 'Amish' hit the Indian literary scene, I still did not pay much attention to his books (Infact, I was urged by many friends to read them) as his first series was the Shiva triology. Only after reading the first two books of Ramayan Series I got a little curious. I was drawn to the writing style of the author as for me he had made the relatively simple characters of 'Ram' and 'Sita' (About whom my knowledge was limited to reading Ramayan, a few stories that I had heard and some refernces in movies and books) into such strong, mesmerizing and poignant people. Since the third book of 'Ramayan Series' was nowhere in vicinity of launch, I decided to read the 'Shiva Triology'. And boy!, what an experience it was to read three books with around 370 pages each in a span on just 10 days with a full-time job and a lot of other responsibilities. 

'Shiva', a barbarian, a migrant, a nobody reaches Meluha by tun of fate, falls in love with the princess of the kingdom, stumbles upon the decree to become 'Neelkanth' and is trusted with the responsibility to rid the great nation of India from a widespread 'Evil'. I am not going to summarize the story here for that is not what touched me the most. I am amazed at the power of writing trough which the author has given such complex and yet believable explanations of the events which till now were only magical religious phenomenons to me like the blue throat and the third eye of the Lord.  His habit of smoking marijuana, his apparel, his temper and his love, all were there for a reason.

The thing that is haunting me hours after finishing the last book is the character of Sati. The bond between Shiva and his wife Sati laid the foundation of whole epic. A bond of true love which lead them to realize their ultimate potential as warriors and Gods. Theirs was a union that balanced them. And was a kind of relationship that strengthened my belief in the institution of marriage where two people support each other to be the best versions of themselves.

Its fascinating that the writer tries to emphasize the point that 'Shiva' was just a normal human being who explores his strengths and becomes 'Mahadev'. This notion fills every heart with hope that someday, with some luck and a hell lot of hard work, if we remain true to ourselves, we all can also become what we are supposed to be, what we were born to become. Because behind this hope is the fear that this life will just end someday in the middle of this chaos without doing anything worthwhile. And that is something nobody should allow to happen to them. Every being is born with the ability to do good and make others life easier. The only question that remains is are we willing to be good, be consumed by that fire of self-exploration and then put in that truck loads of effort in order to fulfill our destiny. And what if the end of this road is not the end yet but another turn. Will we be willing to go on.Will we be able to gather the strength and hold on to the hope of a brighter future to continue. That is the question we all need to answer for ourselves.

-Charu